Usanga abantu benshi badakunda cyangwa se ngo bakundwe mu buryo bumwe bitewe n’uko hari ubwoko bwinshi bw’urukundo bityo bigatuma hari n’abantu benshi bakundwa ariko ntibishimire urukundo bahabwa ndetse rimwe na rimwe ugasanga bifuza guhabwa urukundo nk’urwo babona bagenzi babo bahabwa. Ibi rero ngo usanga ahanini nta kindi kibitera kitari uko hariho ubwoko bunyuranye bw’urukundo, aho usanga bamwe bibona mu buryo runaka, abandi na bo bakibona mu bundi.
Urukundo ni iki? Habaho ubwoko bungahe bw’urukundo? Ni iki kiranga buri bwoko? Ese wowe urukundo urimo no uruhe?
Urubuga rwa internet www.truthaboutdeception.com ruvuga ko ubushakashatsi bwakozwe n’inzobere mu byurukundo ari bo: Lee na Regan bwerekanye ko hari ubwoko bwinshi bw’urukundo aho ngo usanga ijambo kuba mu rukundo rifite ubusobanuro bwinshi bitewe n’ubwoko bw’urukundo uwo mwahuye yaguhaye.
Uru rubuga rukomeza ruvuga ko ubu bushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko hari ubwoko bugera kuri 6 bw’urukundo ari bwo bukurikira:
1. Eros
Ubu ngo ni bumwe mu bwoko bw’urukundo, aho usanga ngo abantu barufite barangwa no kugaragariza impuhwe nyinshi abakunzi babo; kubizirikaho cyane aho baba bumva badashobora kuba kure y’abakunzi babo. Bene aba usanga ari ba bandi bahora bashaka kuba pata na rugi ku ncuti zabo.
Usanga barangwa cyane cyane n’ubudahemuka, guhora hafi y’abo bakunda, kubakorakora, guhorana ku buryo iyo batabona abakunzi babo hafi nta gikorwa.
Rero ngo uru rukundo rurangwa cyane cyane nagahararo gakomeye cyane cyane mugihe cyintangiriro aho usanga bene uyu muntu aba yifuza kwereka abantu bose ko afite incuti, aho ngo ashobora no kumusomera mu bantu benshi kandi akanifuza ko bakorana imibonano mpuzabitsina ariko ngo ntibabahemukire.
2. Ludus
Ubu ni ubwoko bw’urukundo aho ngo ababufite usanga bafata urukundo nk’umukino wo gukina aho usanga bakinisha emotions z’abakunzi babo.
Aha ngo ufite uru rukundo usanga ahora ashaka gutwara uko abyifuza uwo bari kumwe mu rukundo.
Abafite bene uru rukundo usanga intego nyamukuru baba bafite ari ukubona inyungu n’indonke ku bo bakundana.
Kubeshya, guca inyuma no guhemuka ni byo bibaranga. Abantu bafite urukundo nk’uru rwa Ludus bakunda gucunga aho intege nke z’abandi ziri bakaba ari ho babafatira batitaye ku ngaruka byabagiraho.
Usanga bafata urukundo nka fraude ndetse no guhemukira abo bakunda ntibigire icyo bibatwara.
Kandi na none ngo usanga abasore bafite urukundo rwa Ludus ari bamwe bakorana imibonano mpuzabitsina n’incuti zabo cyangwa se bakagirana n’andi mabanga y’urukundo hashira igihe gito bakabareka.
3. Storge
Ubu bwo ni ubwoko bw’urukundo, aho ba nyirarwo usanga ari abantu bakunda gutwara ibintu gahoro gahoro ntibahite basazwa n’urukundo ako kanya cyangwa se ngo bahubukire n’ibyo babonye.
Usanga baba bafite intego yo gushaka kumenya uko abakunzi babo bateye; ibyo bakunda n’ibyo banga, ntibahubukira guhita biyumvamo abo bakunda ngo babe habasezeranya byinshi ntagihe kirashira.
Rurangwa no gutwara ibintu gahoro gahoro nubwo bakwizezwa ibimeze bite.
4. Agape
Uru rurangwa no kwitanaho, urufite aba afite intego yo kwita ku mukunzi we uko ashoboye kose, ntiyifuza kubabaza umukunzi.
Aba yumva nta kintu umukunzi we yakenera ngo akibure.
Rurangwa no kwitondera buri kintu cyose cyaba ku mukunzi. Impuhwe n’ubudahemuka nibyo biruranga.
5. Mania
Abafite urukundo rw’ubu bwoko usanga ari ba bantu bayoborwa n’urukundo, bakarwumvira kurusha ikindi kintu icyo ari cyo cyose. Umwanya munini w’buzima bwabo bawuharira urukundo.
Bafata ibyemezo bitewe n’ibyo abo bakunda bifuza aho usanga urukundo rwarabagize imbata bakamera nk’abasazi, bafata ibyemezo n’imyanzuro ya hutihuti ndetse urukundo rukabayobora muri byose.
Bene aba ni ba bandi usanga ikintu cyose abakunzi babo bifuje bahita babibakorera nta gutekereza niba hari ingaruka byanagira gusa bakumva kuba ari incuti zabo bizibasabye ari byo nyine bihagije.
Mania ni ubwoko bw’urukundo rurangwa no kwiyumvanamo birenze urugero, igihirahiro cyo kutifatira ibyemezo, gufata ibyemezo byihuse no kutihangana imbere y’abo bakunda.
6. Pragma
Uru rukundo rwo rero abarufite usanga ari bamwe badahubuka, bagira ubwitonzi no kwitwararika mu rukundo kandi bararuyobora. Uru rukundo rurangwa no gufata ibyemezo bihamye by’ubuzima bw’urukundo.
Usanga badapfa kwimariramo abo bakunda, mbega barizigama mu rukundo .Nta buhubutsi bagira mu rukundo, usanga buri kintu cyose bakoreye abo bakunda bagikora ku bwumvikane ku buryo bashobora no gusobanura impamvu yabyo biramutse bibaye ngombwa.
Ushobora rero gusanga hari bumwe muri ubu bwoko bw’urukundo wibonyemo cyangwa se ugasanga harimo imvange y’ubundi bwoko ariko ngo ahanini biba byatewe n’uwo mwahuye mu rukundo akagenda akwanduza imico ye bitewe n’igihe mumaranye, naho ubundi ngo buri wese yisanga muri bumwe mu bwoko bw’urukundo mu bwavuzwe haruguru.
Mu gihe rero ngo ubona udakunda cyangwa se ngo ukundwe kimwe n’abandi ngo biterwa n’uko buri wese ubwoko bw’urukundo rumurimo ari bwo atanga.
Izindi nkuru wasoma:
1. Inkuru y’urukundo rwa Manzi na Solange igice cya mbere(1)
2. Dore ibimenyetso bigaragaza ko umukunzi wawe yatangiye kwikundira undi muntu wowe utabizi
